Dear Mysterious --
At our wonderful monthly book
club meetings, the club's rule during discussions is to raise our hands when we
want to speak and the facilitator calls on us in turn. This works fine and we're happy to do so out
of respect. Yet, when several members
want to speak at once, we each have to wait occasionally while others speak
before our individual turn. In this
situation, by the time it is my turn to speak, I have forgotten what I was
going to say. It's embarrassing to then
be called on and have nothing to say because I've gotten so engrossed in what
others have to say the thoughts have left me and the context and relevance of
my thoughts has shifted to other subjects. Any suggestions? It's a mystery to me...
Sign me...
Ponderous
Dearest Ponderous --
Book club discussions are yet another
opportunity to learn, just as when you read the book selections. Perhaps keeping a notepad and pen handy
during the discussions and jotting down notes, as you would when reading the books,
would be a useful tool. When several
people raise their hands at once -- including you -- and someone else is called
first, quickly write down a key word or sentence that will jog your memory when
it is your turn to speak. When you do speak, make reference to what you are
commenting about so others can then follow your train of thought.
Secondly, note commentary on what
other people are speaking about throughout the discussion and perhaps keep most
of your commentary on several subjects to one turn. Also, by listening, often times, someone else
will share similar ideas, addressing what you were going to say.
Perhaps you could think about
what you want to say about the book before the book club meeting, crystallizing
your ideas. When the discussion begins,
raise your hand, and outline the different aspects you'd like to talk
about. Then, open the discussion to the
group.
Lastly, book club discussions
should be invigorating and inspiring. If
you feel embarrassed, frustrated, over-looked, hurried or put down -- then
speak privately to the person acting as facilitator at first opportunity about
your feelings. If nothing changes after
a couple of meetings, bring the subject up during the meeting discussions, as you
are probably not the only one feeling this way, and a solution needs to be
found. Feeling as though not being heard damages the purpose of the group,
acting as a destructive cancer that could lead to the group's eventual
disbanding. Group leaders and facilitators
can only help you if you speak up.
Thank you for sharing your
experience. Another mystery solved!
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